One of my “insider” friends is a young worship director at the church I once was on staff, a church that has never come to agreement about music choices. More than a few have bent my ear in offering their opinions, occasionally (unjustifiably) critical, about what “he is doing to our church.” From my own experiences, even the mildest of uncharitable words can test a spouse's joy in one’s service to the Lord’s people. How have you encouraged your wife to cope with criticism of your work? Any stories to cheer the younger spiritual under-shepherds?

This is a very good reason to start a church. Older churches can be notorious for having a host of dysfunctional creatures in the pews who have absolutely no kingdom concerns and who complain about everything. If it were not about the music it would be about something else most likely.

This is why some churches start a second service, to serve a different audience and minimize complaints from the others.

The lot of the pastor's wife is a difficult one ... she internalizes many of these complaints, usually has nobody to complain to, and risks becoming as loathsome as the creatures she is having to endure.

Her spiritual growth and sustenance is as important as the minister's in such cases so that, at the least, she can trust Jesus to bless her in her persecution at the hands of thoughtless church members.

Thanks for the recommendation, though its a bit extreme. Even though I have never heard of an example of taking up the task of church-planting in order to encourage one's wife, I have heard of many who have left their pastorate for another "call" because of a difficult-to-bear tension within their ministry. As a matter of principle, one Evangelical Free superintendent advised young pastors to do just that, if and when a spouse becomes too discouraged. But, this raises another question about when a spouse has a higher level of perseverance/endurance, maybe even pig-headedness, than the other. Then, who is to give in, and how do you know that the Lord is affirming the course of action?

The office of pastor requires a great deal of grace and wisdom. One of the practices that have most damaged the effectiveness and witness of the church is abandoning difficult issues and situations and starting yet another group that eventually faces the same issues. With God's grace, pastors must view difficulties as opportunities to help the body overcome themselves. I've found that when a local church commits itself to prayer, evangelizing, and laboring into the lives of new Christians, self serving critics and those preoccupied with music styles tend to either grow up or leave of their own accord.