The public revelation of Gen. Stanley McChrystal's published comments--about his civilian commander (President Obama and others elected leaders) leadership skills--pose a parallel issue with respect versus speaking one’s mind. In the local church, often elders and senior pastor hide from the congregation complex struggles. They often do so because the inner decision-making process pivots around a lack of shared values or discernment. When a lack of consensus is made known, word-of-mouth opinions take off, sometimes with the intent of leveraging influence through questioning motives. Out of the life of Christ, what lessons might we call to find that help us know how to be honest in speech yet be respectful of the role of decision-makers?

Having been on our church council three times I think and congregational president once, I think the deliberations of council should be kept from the congregation. If minutes are posted, they can see the voting and from that should be able to figure out there was discussion, perhaps even dissension.

The job of a council member, in my view is to be honest, forthright and Biblical in the meetings. To simply serve as (another) rubber stamp for the pastor(s) or the council president is not in keeping with the duties and responsibilities of a council member. When the cussin' and discussion is over and the vote rendered, it then becomes the job of the council member to support that decision, that vote. We are all under authority and the council vote is the authority. If a council member cannot do that, then s/he must resign their position.

Some weeks ago in our prayers, there was one for the unity in council. I'm not sure where that came from, but I would argue that if there is unity in council (as I think it was meant) then something is seriously askew. There shouldn't be unity in council. Council unity implies a rubber stamp of somebody, and that's not in keeping with our responsibilities. There should be disunity in council, unity in/to the congregation.

Lastly, the "elders" or other people of influence should not keep information to themselves. When I was council president, our pastor gave notice. One of our "elders" knew also that the choir director was leaving and made the decision not to tell me. Never have figured out why. I have forgiven him, though I have as little to do with him as possible for that and for many other reasons.

Bottom Line: Council members need all the information from as many sources as possible. The congregation does not.

I am struggling with talking to people about biblical behavior and worldly behavior.
I was told I am too critical and then told by someone else I am too soft. I don't want to be silent on the issues. My church called me after a woman complained to them I was jamming my political idea on her but was really talking to her about what partial birth abortion is, before the last election.
How can I be sure if speaking out is the right time or not?

Asking how you can be sure that you have said the right thing in the right way tells me something important about you. You really do care about being effective in your speech. Be encouraged. The Lord seeks to utilize faithful people to speak to the spiritually lost and misguided. The Bible gives us help in Ephesians 4:25-32 on what we say and how we say it.

What you say must be in accord with God’s Word. Abortion, especially the abortion procedure known as “partial birth,” is the extinguishing of a life of one whom the Lord has made in His image. Abortion is wrong, and you have spoken the truth. I hope that when the representative from your church contacted you that they commended you for your faithfulness is speaking truthfully.

How you say what you say is also important. Love has a soft side to it. If you were criticized for being too soft in speaking about worldly or immoral behavior, it may be that you again are being unfairly criticized. The Lord not only insist that we speak truthfully but we are to speak redemptively, that is with the same wooing love that Christ has for us.

I would recommend that you ask friends your same question, ones whom you perceive to be knowledge about the Lord’s Word and ways. They may have additional insights that could be of help. However, please understand, like our Lord Jesus, you should not expect to receive popular approval when speaking truthfully even if it is in love. The norm is that the light of truth will be rejected by those who are in spiritual darkness (John 3:19-21).

May the Lord strengthen you.